Welcome to the world of laughter and giggles. Lighten up the world around you as we bring a collection of funny quotations and sayings. These funny quotations are the perfect ingredient to make yourself and your friends laugh.
As rightly said, laughter is the closest distance between two persons. With a simple smile, you can melt just about anybody. As lovecarnival.com offers you an exclusive collection of funny quotations, spread the laughter buds all around. Select from the various funny quotations and add some laughter in your everyday world.
- Lady who live in glass house , dress in basement.
- Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue? -- Jo Brand
- "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian"
- "First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down." -- George Burns
- "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city." -- George Burns
- "Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill." -- Johnny Carson
- "I wasn't always black... There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger." Bill Cosby
- "I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." -- Rita Rudner
- "The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun." -- Jerry Seinfeld
- I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
- Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life!
- Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say "Are you gonna drink that?"
- "A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
- "A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done." -Fred Allen
- Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
- There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
- Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
- When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
- What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
- I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly - Douglas Adams